quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
