sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
