all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
