Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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