i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
