I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
