He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
honey bunches of taint.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
