what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
