I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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