I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
