3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
