Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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