Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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