that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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