I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
