I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
