Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
