You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
