You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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