barbara walters just said penis...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
