I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
