I looked at my own cervix.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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