I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
