i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
