So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
