Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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