we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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