I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
