just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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