i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
