I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
