I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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