i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
