im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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