I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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