But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
