So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
