ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
