He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
