the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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