yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
