We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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