You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
