i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
