And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
