i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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