My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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