ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
