I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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