Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Watching her eat just hurts me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
