in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
