did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
