Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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