I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
