I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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