Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
