omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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