OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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