You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
